Caregiver services sometimes are met with resistance

What to do when someone refuses your assistance and how to help people that don’t want help

How can you tell when someone does not want your help?

  • They say “I’m 94 years old and I’ve gotten along just fine so far.”
  • They give you a list of reasons why they are fully capable of going on without your help
  • They slam the door in your face
  • Break into tears when you tell them what to do
  • They interrupt
  • They Talk non-stop
  • They deliberately mislead you or withhold information
  • They are angry for no apparent reason
  • They smile for no apparent reason
  • Silence
  • Hang up when you call

But you are so helpful and willing, why wouldn’t they want your help?

Understanding the underlying causes for not wanting help is the key component to being able to help them. Without this level of understanding, you will have a much more difficult time figuring out how best to help them.

A few possible causes for them not wanting your help include:

  • It’s an admission of frailty or helplessness
  • They have never had to ask for help before
  • They are not ready for your help
  • Offering help can be condescending, judgmental and demeaning

What can a caregiver do when someone doesn’t want their help?

  • Acknowledge their hesitance.
  • Take baby steps. Ask them if there’s just one thing you can help them with.
  • Ask them for advice. Tell them you have a job to do and ask how they would recommend you do it.
  • If they’ve had caregivers in the past, ask them what the other caregivers have done that they didn’t like.
  • Explain to them that your assistance is helping their children because they don’t have time.
  • Tell them that you can help them get some tasks completed so they can spend better quality time with their loved ones.
  • Ask them to work together with you on this.

Caregiving for seniors can at times be quite challenging. Some seniors who really need assistance may resist for a number of reasons. However, well-trained and experienced caregivers can use these tips to win them over and get quickly to a more productive and positive working relationship.

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What to do when someone refuses your assistance and how to help people that don't want help How can you tell when someone does not want your help? They say “I’m 94 years old and I’ve gotten along just fine so far.” They give you a list of reasons why they are...